“God, Do You Hate Me?”

God hate suffering pain

The Bunion-Freedom Saga Continues Remember that foot surgery I said wasn’t going to be a big deal, even though it was going to hurt REALLY badly for a bit?  The pain was surprisingly mild the day of the surgery. I was even able to write about it while  in a minimally medicated state in the post  My View from a Room  a week ago.  The pain didn’t stay mild, and I stopped being able to think well enough to write. By day two post-surgery  the pain had definitely kicked into high-octane-not- laughing-at-the doc’s-warning-anymore-pain.  Don’t Waste the Pain There was plenty of pain to offer…continued

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My View From a Room: Post-Surgery

Bunion Surgery

I’ve been looking forward to this day for almost 30 years. The actual date was set about six weeks ago. Maybe it says something about how this year has been going for me so far that this will probably one of the highlights (definitely exceeded by my daughter’s confirmation last week, which I will likely tell you about sometime soon!) Today was Bunion Freedom Day! At least it was for me. My feet have been “old” feet since I was in my twenties and got my very first set of custom-made orthotic inserts.  My mother tried to convince me to wear…continued

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Our Soul – Use It or Lose It

At my physical therapy appointment today I was given the disappointing news that I had lost 25-50% of the strength in my arms and shoulders since the increasing elbow pain had caused me to take a four week break from therapy. Those weeks were spent with doctor’s appointments, testing, ineffective cortisone shots, but with none of the exercises I had worked so hard building up to during the recovery from my neck surgery. We are now back to work with lots of tape, ice and ultrasound. I have been sent to look for an elbow brace to support my partially…continued

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Actively Submitting to God’s Will

Meekness, Passivity, Submission I have always thought of the meekness with which Jesus accepted His final persecution as a passive suffering. I thought that He merely endured it. I had never considered that it might have taken substantial emotional and spiritual, even physical, work to so simply endure all that occurred, all that He experienced. My Holy Week lesson in submission began with the arthrogram MRI and culminated with an excruciating “cortisone flare” from the cortisone shot administered on Holy Thursday. I had to relax my body to receive the cortisone shot into my elbow and then continue to relax…continued

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Sanctifying My Suffering, Holy Week

I had an opportunity to begin the way of the Cross with Jesus in my own little way. I had an arthrogram MRI, which means that first they inject dye into your elbow, and then after waiting for the dye to absorb they perform the MRI. After driving alone to the very painful nerve conduction test I had a few weeks ago, I decided to ask a friend to go with me for this. I was told it would be “uncomfortable.” I just didn’t want to go through it alone, not again. I felt guilty asking a friend to take…continued

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Submitting and Accepting

Every day for over 10 years I have prayed the “Secret of Sanctity” prayer by Cardinal Mercier. Now is a time when I must live the words: Holy Spirit, Soul of my Soul, I adore You. Enlighten me, guide me, strengthen me, console me. Tell me what I should do, give me your orders. I promise to submit myself to all that you desire of me and to accept all that You permit to happen to me, let me only know Your will. Am I accepting right now? Accepting the limitations imposed by my physical pain and the injury that I sustained?…continued

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One Small Light


Vigil lightOriginally uploaded by Lawrence OP Do we think we are too weak to make a difference? Too weak to change ourselves? We are most certainly very weak, but the good Lord knows our limits. He knows our very smallness. So He has made it unnecessary for us to need great strength to continue our struggle along the little way. Sometimes it is only very small things that we are able to do. Even in our weakness, we can choose to give thanks to our God during times of adversity and even to accept all that happens to us as…continued

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